Private Radio
by TwiGo
Summary: AU. Ludwig's life was never all that interesting. Recovering from a breakup, he settles into a new job, navigating ships via radio and wondering when things will pick up. One night, a boat crosses through his waters, and Ludwig can't help but find himself fascinated by the odd man on the other end of the speaker. Come to think, that boat has been coming by a lot lately. NorGer
1. Ordinary Vanity

**A/N **: I love crack pairings. What? I've got a thousand other things I need to finish? I know, but this story isn't very long, so it's okay. Really. It's okay if you don't believe me, as well. XD

**Warnings**! : AU. Human characters. Violence, language.

**Pairings** : Norway x Germany, past Italy x Germany and Denmark x Norway. A little side of Prussia and France, because fuck yeah. Don't know what else to say about this one.

10 chapters. Short and odd. This is extremely tame by my standards, but I still had fun writing it because Norway is insane. ALSO, I know zero about anything nautical, so if any of you are sailors or something, just humor me. Please. Thanks for reading, as always.

* * *

**PRIVATE RADIO**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Ordinary Vanity**

January.

The ships were frosted with ice. The water was well below freezing. The waves crashed white against the rocks.

Ludwig, through several different circumstances, had found himself on coast of the sea.

A beautiful place, sure, but getting here had been an ugly time.

Six years.

That was how long he and Feliciano had been in a relationship.

The first three had been exhilarating. The fourth had been alright. The fifth had dragged.

The sixth, Ludwig had woken up every morning and wondered how much longer he could take it before he went crazy.

Not Feliciano's fault.

His own, maybe. He couldn't say what it was that was nagging him, exactly, but he found himself enjoying his time alone more and more often, and when Feliciano was gone, he was the happiest.

It was a terrible thing to admit, it made him a horrible person, but he had gotten tired of Feliciano.

So many days.

So many years.

They had gotten together too young, perhaps. Attached to each other too quickly. Darted towards each other with declarations of eternity when they probably should have been experimenting with different people. They had been eighteen; ha, what had they known about anything back then? When they had first clasped hands, Ludwig was fairly certain that forever would be as enthralling as that day had been.

Hardly.

Adolescence turned into adulthood. Living together. Working. Paying bills.

Seeing Feliciano every single day.

Arguing, making up, arguing again, not talking to each other for days, making up again only to argue again. Fighting one night, fucking the next, looking at each other over the table and discussing bills, having to suffer each other's family.

It got old.

They had given each other their entire youth, and Ludwig was the first of them to realize he regretted that.

He wasn't content.

Restless, all the time.

Maybe because he had never given himself time to mess around before he had settled. Disaster, surely, waiting to happen. Getting serious too soon.

When he looked at Feliciano, he no longer felt that burn of adrenaline he had when they had first been together, and, god help him, when Feliciano rolled over on top of him at night, Ludwig had realized he was engaging in something that felt more like a chore.

Feliciano buried his face in Ludwig's neck as he crooned words of adoration, and Ludwig just stared up at the ceiling, and bit down the urge to sigh as he stayed dutifully in place.

He was a terrible person, but he couldn't really help it.

It made him feel awful, but he thought it anyway.

He was bored.

He couldn't bring himself to say it. He could barely even say, 'I love you', let alone open his mouth and try to explain that he wasn't _happy_. Trying to fumble words that were already bad enough on their own, but that coming out of his ineloquent mouth might have sounded harsher than he meant them to. Putting emotions into words wasn't anything he had ever been good at, so he had gotten out of bed one night after Feliciano had drank too much, packed his things, and hit the road.

It hadn't been right. He knew that. It hadn't been very mature. He knew that, too.

Still, he had done it, because it was easier for him that way.

Feliciano would have twisted the conversation around and forced him to stay, one way or another.

Trapped.

When Feliciano was staring at him, he always folded.

Didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Sneaking out was the only way.

After that, he had wandered around, aimlessly.

Gilbert was great, he really was, but Ludwig couldn't live with _him_, because being around Gilbert too much was something quite close to being in hell. Loved him to death, but he just couldn't. Couldn't stay with Roderich, not with the state of his marriage. Couldn't stay with Lovino, either. Too awkward.

So he'd headed out, got on a bus, and found himself on the edge of the North Sea, in this pretty place, in a little German village near the Danish border.

That had been a year ago.

Since then he had found a job and rented himself a shoddy little apartment, and he had called Gilbert a month after he arrived to let him know that he was alive and well. Gilbert had berated him, as a big brother should, but didn't really seem all that mad at him.

Gilbert, always so restless, surely could understand what it was like to feel trapped.

In the end, Gilbert had just said, 'Well. Guess it can't be helped. I'll tell him you're alright, 'cause he's been so worried. Call me if you need anything. Don't worry too much about it. He's pissed, but he'll get over it. I hope you find whatever you need. I'll come visit you when I can.'

He loved Gilbert.

He had felt more than a little guilty, though, at the thought of Feliciano searching for him in a panic when he had been alright the whole while. Too late now to fix it. Feliciano had no doubt taken the hint, because it was a pretty goddamn big one. Up and leaving was the most obvious in the long checklist of bad breakup options.

Ludwig found himself now sitting at a desk behind the giant panes of glass, overlooking the rolling sea.

Ships coming and going.

Not bad scenery, but something always felt off.

He missed everyone.

Feliciano too, in certain ways.

Being alone wasn't as enthralling as he had always thought it would be. Away from home. On his own.

The job itself wasn't too bad. Guiding boats and ships through active waterways and keeping them from crashing into each other or dashing up on the rocks. He got a lot of languages through here, mostly Danish and Norwegian, German and Dutch, English, sometimes French and Spanish. He could fumble the English and the Scandinavian languages, but everything else he passed off to one of his coworkers.

He was getting the hang of it. Months and months of training under someone else.

He was doing it on his own now.

Nautical jargon was still a little hard for him, but he had a handle on most things by now. The guys he worked with were helpful, quick to correct mistakes and teach him new words.

They clapped him on the back when he did a good job.

Not bad.

Anyway, it was better than what he had before.

Couldn't help but be melancholy all the same.

Every day, he watched blips on a radar screen, headphones heavy over his ears, and spoke to captains, guiding them when they couldn't see or when their maps weren't up to date.

Nothing very interesting.

Maybe that was good, because he wasn't a very interesting person.

In early January, when the night sky was clear and the moon was full and the ocean was freezing, Ludwig watched the waves outside the windows, and a sight on his screen eventually caught his attention.

A little boat, creeping steadily towards a crop of rocks.

A little too close for comfort, and he had been quick to tune his radio and focus his wandering eyes. He flipped the stations with one hand, pressing the headphone closer to his ear with the other, and tried to get the boat's attention.

"Hey, ah—northbound. You hear me? You're headed towards the rocks. Port around, eight degrees. Over."

A short silence, and then the radio crackled.

A voice came over the waves.

Deep and somewhat dreamy, hardly a silvery rumble in Norwegian.

_ "Is this the coast guard? Sorry, I don't speak German."_

Ludwig glanced up at the water, and promptly repeated himself in the preferred language, as best he could.

His Norwegian wasn't exactly stunning. Actually, it was really Danish, but they were all mutually intelligible anyway. So he called it Norwegian.

"Northbound. You've got rocks ahead. Port around. Check your map. Um, eight degrees."

Another silence, and the voice came back.

_ "Oh! Hello there. My map's not around. Say, it's a nice night, isn't it? I was just watchin' the moon when you called."_

...what?

His head started aching around that time, and it would be a long time before it stopped again.

Ludwig held the button down, furrowed his brow and tried to gather up his words, and then he said, in his clumsy Danish, "Listen here, guy, do what I tell ya if you don't wanna ground yourself on the rocks. Port around."

A crackle of static.

And then, for some unholy reason, the voice on the other end of the speaker said, _"Rocks? I don't see any rocks. Hey—you got a nice voice, you know? I'm sure you get that a lot."_

Wha—_what_?

"_No_," he said, harshly, "I _don't_! Because most people are too worried about dyin' out there to think about my voice! You gonna listen to me or not?"

He let go of the button, waited, with his palm on the table and eyes scanning the rolling waves, and then the voice answered him.

Kind of.

_ "I'll be honest; I didn't really hear a damn word you said, but listening to ya sure is nice. Love that accent. Well, anyway, I'm headin' out. I have to get back soon. Hey. You work here every day? So I'll know when to come back."_

Ludwig stared at the radio in his hand, chest tight with aggravation, and he wanted to say, 'So go and die then, you goddamn idiot, and see what I care!'

It was only the fact that he was being recorded and that he hadn't been doing this on his own for very long that forced him to grit his teeth and clench his jaw and hiss, "I'm telling you, change direction, _sir_, or you're gonna ground yourself—"

_ "—I might swing back next week. You'll be here next week, right? If not, I'll just keep listening for your voice until I hear it again."_

The plastic creaked in his hand as he clenched it.

Deep breaths.

Calm.

He could stay calm.

_"What's your name? I bet it's nice."_

Whether he was calm or not was may not have been the issue anymore, since he was pretty much screaming when he slammed his fist on the desk and cried, "Port, man, port!"

The blip drew ever closer to the rocks.

He'd be goddamned if he lost a boat on _his _watch. This fuckin' job was all he had right now.

Nowhere to go if he lost it.

And yes, he was absolutely more concerned with the state of his damn job than he was with the well being of the psycho in the boat.

Bad person? Yup.

The radar beeped. Dots floating along. He watched the screen, tensely, and gave a 'hmph' when the boat made a sharp turn at the last moment and avoided the rocks.

Stubborn bastard.

_ "Whoa! That was a close one, huh!" _came the voice over the speaker, and Ludwig shook his head to himself.

"You're welcome," was all he muttered then, and was content to leave it there.

The guy? Not so much.

_ "Whew, I gotta tell you though, it was almost worth slamming into 'em just hearing you scream at me. Almost made me crash there, with that voice of yours. Let's do this more often."_

When the boat was starting to go out of his range, the static increased, and there was one final transmission between them.

_ "I'll get your name next time. Wait for me. Next week!"_

The radio went silent, the dot disappeared, and the boat floated out of his sight.

He slumped back in his seat, blew air through his teeth, and leaned his head backwards.

Christ almighty. What a whacko.

The guy at the desk next to him looked over suddenly, a leer on his face, and said, "Well! That was interesting. Looks like someone made a friend."

Aw, fuck.

Ludwig sent a foul look over, turned his eyes back down to the map beneath him, and hoped to god that he wasn't blushing.

Probably was, though.

Goddammit.

The rest of the night, they giggled about the weirdo in the boat, and Ludwig found himself the office joke. Every time one of them communicated with a ship, they looked up afterwards and called to the room, 'He didn't like my voice, I guess. Didn't crash.'

Laughter.

Ludwig lowered his head, pressed the headphones into his ears, and could feel his cheeks burn every single time.

He should have gotten a tan before he came here. At least then they couldn't see him blushing so bad. He hadn't really anticipated being put on the spot like this so often. Hell, this was the most attention anyone other than Feliciano had paid him in a long time.

Not the worst thing in the world.

Nice voice, huh? Ha. Coulda been worse.

Days came and went, the odd boat didn't come back, and Ludwig pushed it from his mind. As much as he could, anyway, for his coworkers' relentless teasing. Every day, they were quick to remind him.

'Hi, Ludwig! Damn, your voice is even nicer in the morning.'

'Better watch the ships extra hard today, guys. Ludwig's gonna make a couple of 'em crash.'

On his day off, he came in the next evening to, 'There he is. We had to go without a siren yesterday. Didn't even lose a single boat.'

Motherfuckers.

It was like living with Gilbert all over again.

...not a bad thing for his ego though, if he were honest. It was kinda nice to be teased for something pleasant rather than the old stuff he was used to; his shyness, his awkwardness, 'holy shit, look how red Ludwig's face got when you asked if he had a girlfriend,' all of that blah, blah.

He could be vain, too, in certain ways.

The week was coming to an end. Ludwig assumed the ordeal was over.

It was Sunday when the boat finally came back.

Ludwig noticed it first because the boat was drifting a little on the snug side to a gigantic ship.

Not even considering the possibility, Ludwig tuned the radio, watched the radar, and said, swiftly, "You're getting' too close to a cargo ship, southbound. Keep an eye out."

He waited for a response.

A crackle of static, and then a smooth croon over the waves.

_ "Hello there! Told you I'd be back. Miss me?"_

Ludwig stared at the radio for a moment, feeling his face falling, and he heaved a sigh as he thunked his head down onto folded arms when he recognized that voice.

Son of a bitch.

Absolute mortification.

Cackling and breathless howling all over the room. The man beside of him slapped his palm on his desk, giggling so hard that he started crying.

Ludwig was pretty sure then that he would rather have just jumped out of the window and onto the rocks below.

He was never going to live this down.

They cackled all night.

Ludwig might have cracked a smile, somewhere down the line, as the boat crept slowly along the waterway and the voice kept trying very hard to get his attention.

Just a little smile. Wouldn't admit it, though.

So he just stayed cool, answered the prodding voice only when he had to, and flipped a coworker off every time they giggled too hard.

Vanity was a strange, if not pleasant, sensation.

Exhilaration.

His veins had been flooded with adrenaline the whole while.

He had almost forgotten how that felt.

The damn boat seemed to come by every other day after that.


	2. Null Moon

**A/N **: Since I'm so very close to being done with Zachem Ya (sniff), I have a little free time to work on this.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Null Moon**

February.

The chill grew stronger.

Ludwig found that his mind had become a little preoccupied.

It wasn't really a mystery to anyone as to why, although it had been long enough now that the joke had gotten old and no one really bothered him too much anymore.

Ludwig and the little boat had eventually lost everyone's interest.

Almost, at least.

The smug coworker called Francis still seemed pretty stuck on the whole thing, and was always asking Ludwig when he was going to finally commandeer a boat and go out to sea for a romantic rendezvous. It was in Francis' best interest, perhaps, that Ludwig liked him enough to snip at him without too much malice or physicality. Reminded him too much of Gilbert, honestly, to really ever be angry with him.

Still, though, it was often quite tempting to suddenly wrench his head back and break Francis' nose, because whenever that boat came by, it seemed that Francis was always rolling his chair over and hovering behind him.

He'd get it one day, friend or no.

As for the psycho on the boat...

_"Miss me?"_

That was always the first thing he said when he came into the waters.

Miss me? Hardly.

If Ludwig had been able to speak his mind for once in his life, he would have told the guy, 'No. I don't miss you. I don't even know you, but you're really fuckin' creepy, and if I had my way you'd get run over by a ship.'

Instead, he usually just found himself heaving a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, and saying, "No."

The guy didn't seem to believe him, as if he found himself so goddamn irresistible that anyone _not_ missing him was just out of the question. As if Ludwig were really just pining away by the radio, counting the minutes until the boat came by and questioning the meaning of life.

After the 'miss me', next always came, _"What's your name?"_

Ludwig never dignified that with a response, not when Francis was leaning back into his chair, hand up to his forehead and mock-swooning.

Ludwig wished that the entire damn office would sink into the sea.

He had gone an entire month like this, with this stubborn man constantly trying to squirm into his affections and Francis loving every second of his misery.

Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

Always at sunset, without fail.

He still hadn't told the stranger his name, because, god! Why would he? Fuckin' psycho that he was. Ludwig wondered sometimes if the weirdo would actually try to come ashore one day to seek him out.

A shudder.

It seemed that every time he came by, the man just got bolder and bolder.

One Tuesday, when he swung by, he said to Ludwig, _"Say! It's gonna be really hard for me to ask you on a date if you won't tell me your name."_

A heavy sigh beside of him, and when Ludwig glanced over, it was only to see Francis clasping his hands together, biting his bottom lip, and whispering, in a sultry tone, _"C'est l'amour!"_

Blushing so terribly that he was probably about to catch fire, Ludwig turned his head, hunkered down, and drew the speaker up to his mouth in an effort to curl up into a ball and die. But he didn't. Fuckin' figured.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" he finally hissed, when his voice came back and Francis had stopped tittering and flailing.

_ "Not particularly."_

Obviously.

Agitation.

"You're still in an active waterway, you know? Why are you sittin' there? Move along."

_ "Ah," _was the unconcerned response, _"I trust that you'll tell me if I'm about to get mowed down by a cargo ship."_

"I won't," Ludwig muttered stubbornly, even though he would, and the man laughed.

The man, ignoring his snip, carried on quite merrily with his one-sided banter, and crooned, _"You know, speaking of dates, my boat's not too bad. Got a little bed and everything. Maybe you should come aboard one day."_

Ludwig barked a laugh, despite his best effort not to, at the sheer _audacity_.

Didn't even know this guy!

Somehow, he managed to utter, "Nice try! Sorry, though. I'm more of a dinner-and-a-show kinda guy."

A quick, eager, _"I can do that! I'm my own show, you know."_

Ludwig buried his face in his palm so that he wouldn't have to see Francis then.

Finally, mercifully, the blip started approaching the end of the radar before Ludwig had an aneurysm.

That night, the man drifted off and left him a strange, surreal warning as he went.

_ "I know you're lookin' for me and all, _(looking for him? Ha! As if!) _but when you go outside don't stare too much at the moon on the water. Much as I've gotten attached to ya, I'd hate for it to drag you in."_

Well.

That was...sweet?

Not really knowing what else to do, Ludwig just sighed, brought the radio up, and muttered, "Yeah, sure. Thanks for lookin' out for me. I've heard moonlight is the worst way to die."

A muffled burst of laughter from the adjacent desk, quickly stifled by palms when Ludwig sent over a sharp glare.

_ "Excellent. Night! Thursday alright for you?"_

A beleaguered sigh.

"Thursday's fine."

The man still asked, every night, even though his schedule was exactly the same. Ludwig used the patience that Gilbert had instilled within him to always reply, 'So-and-so is fine.'

Every night seemed like the longest of his life.

When it was time to go home, Ludwig was as grateful as if someone had just saved him from being hit by a train.

On the way out of the office that night, Francis crooned to his back, "Can I be the best man?"

Ludwig slammed the door as hard as he could.

* * *

March.

Hard as he tried not to, Ludwig couldn't really deny that he was steadily getting attached to that stupid voice.

Hard not to, as much as he heard it.

No doubt that had been the man's intention all along. Proud as he was, Ludwig would never have admitted to it, though, even if a gun had been pressed into his head. Wouldn't ever admit that maybe he got a little excited when he heard that voice coming in over the waves.

For a while, anyway.

Lately, it seemed that he always felt restless.

The radio was nice, but a voice wasn't really a substitute for an actual human being.

Still went home alone.

Still by himself.

He was a loner by nature, but being alone all the time was somehow still stifling.

So, whenever Francis wanted to take him out, Ludwig obliged, because Francis was the only person he knew here. The _only _person he knew.

The only one.

Absolutely.

Still, though, whenever they sat together in one of those Danish cafes that Francis dragged him all the way over the border for, Ludwig couldn't help but rest his chin in his hand and wonder what that weirdo looked like.

If the man was as appealing and charming as the voice.

Probably not, knowing his luck.

Some forty-year-old man wearing clothes that were covered in fish oil. Yellow raincoat and hooks.

Ugh.

Francis saw his mood more than Ludwig would have liked, and was always quick to try and perk him up whenever he looked a bit melancholy.

Reaching out, Francis nudged his shoulder, and directed Ludwig's gaze down to the bay below.

"So," came the sly question, "Think your late-night lover is down there somewhere? Bet he docks every day and cries a little bit because you won't tell him your name. Probably sits on his deck at night and writes poetry."

Stupid.

It was the way Francis said it, though, and maybe the complete absurdity of the situation, that had Ludwig giggling, despite his best efforts not to.

Just the thought of it all.

Francis seemed happy enough to hear him laughing, and when it was time to go back across the nearby border, he stood up, and offered his hand to Ludwig in a flourish.

Ludwig took it, because having a friend felt pretty damn good, and when Francis hauled him upright, he found that he felt considerably better.

Couldn't stand being so lonely all the time, and Francis seemed quite capable of fixing that.

Francis started walking, Ludwig at his side, and when he glanced over, Francis added, "Well, dinner's done. Time for a show?"

Again, Ludwig heard himself laughing.

Had anyone else ever found themselves in such an odd situation? Did this ever happen to normal people? The strangest experience he'd ever had, that much was certain.

In the end, though, he shouldn't have laughed.

Not when there was an unknown face out there that had apparently made it his single goal in life to recognize the sound of Ludwig's voice.

Hadn't even thought of something smart to say to Francis when he heard that voice behind him.

"Say! I knew if I waited around here long enough I'd bump into you eventually."

A moment of horror.

Francis seemed to freeze up like a rock, and Ludwig, in a panic, whirled around, coming face to face with a man that was way too close to him to be comfortable. And if he hadn't heard that damn voice, he probably would've punched the guy in the eye right then and there for being a creep.

But it was that damn voice that kept Ludwig's hand still.

That voice.

Oh, _no_—

He opened his mouth, sputtered something incomprehensible, and just gawked at the man in front of him.

Holy shit.

It took an embarrassing amount of time before Ludwig's brain could even start working again.

That voice.

That _man_.

That fuckin' psycho.

Well.

He wasn't a forty-year-old with fish hooks.

Actually, when Ludwig was able to observe him properly, he wondered if maybe there was a misunderstanding.

Nothing like what he had expected, that was for sure.

Actually, the guy was a lot less..._intimidating_ than Ludwig had imagined.

Ludwig's age, a bit older perhaps, a little shorter than he was but almost as pale. Fairly well-built, for working on on the sea, no doubt, and the sheen of his hair was rather dewey. Fawn-colored, he supposed, a bit unkempt, loose in the wind. Pale lashes, long over dark blue eyes that were closer to being indigo. A rather round face, neatly trimmed sideburns above a prominent jaw. Freckles from wind and the sun over the bridge of his straight nose. Neat, well-pressed clothing, despite being on the water so often. All in all, a normal-looking specimen of a man, neat and clean and somewhat prim. Coulda used a shave, though, and that unique, unnerving smile was a little too eager.

A normal guy.

Didn't seem crazy, at first glance.

Maybe just a little odd.

A far-off, somewhat dreamy look on his face, as if only half of him were there.

Despite that apparent aloofness, the guy seemed to be observing Ludwig just as hard, and was much more obvious about it, eyeballing him up and down without any shame.

When he spoke again, his silvery voice was quite content.

"Hey. You're even better lookin' than I thought ya'd be. Not that I'd'a minded, you know, if you hadn't been. I already got attached to ya."

...was this really happening?

Francis, for once in his life, seemed speechless, mouth gaping open and brow squinted, as if he really just couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing.

It was Francis, somehow, that had most of Ludwig's attention.

The bastard had spent so long teasing Ludwig about this man, so long getting on Ludwig's nerves about this inevitable encounter, and yet, now that they stood here, Francis had shifted.

He stood somewhat in front of Ludwig, his shoulder pushed out into Ludwig's chest and his arm held out slightly as if to push Ludwig back behind him, and there was no joke on his face as he stared that man down with focused eyes and a clamped jaw. At his sides, his fists were clenched. Ready for anything. Francis' shoulders and body were so stiff that he looked like he might have tottered over at any moment. Contemplating, maybe, on whether or not he wanted to punch this man.

Not so funny, perhaps, now that physical contact had actually been made.

As if Francis were suddenly realizing that this whacko could actually be dangerous.

Ludwig might have agreed, if he weren't so dumbfounded.

The guy took another step forward, glossy hair blowing in the wind and eyes lidded, and he kept on smiling.

"Say, you haven't told me your name yet."

Ludwig couldn't even speak, so stunned that even _thinking_ suddenly seemed like a hassle.

Brave little fucker, that was for sure, to come up to a stranger like that and start flattering.

A step forward, coming ever farther into Ludwig's personal space, and Ludwig felt himself getting ever tenser. (To be a little fair to the guy, Ludwig considered his 'personal space' to be about the size of a small city.) Another step, and Ludwig started bracing his shoulders.

Alright, time to call the cops.

He could already hear it in his head :

'Yes, operator? The nearest police department please! Yes, this is an emergency, I'm being stalked. Yes, I'm afraid for my life. Hurry up and come get him before I knock him out.'

The guy, apparently completely unaware that Ludwig was contemplating having him hauled off, kept his hands tucked in his pockets and smiled in a strange, lopsided manner that would have been charming if he weren't so damn creepy.

Ludwig opened his mouth, but before he could think of anything good to say, Francis had snapped out of his immobility and had grabbed Ludwig by the arm.

A firm yank backwards.

Ludwig didn't protest, and let Francis try to put some distance between them and the insane man gawking at them.

As Ludwig was pulled away, the man called, quickly, "Hey! My name's Lukas, by the way!"

A trot behind him, footsteps on the sidewalk, and Ludwig shouldn't have, he _knew_ it, but couldn't help it.

He looked over his shoulder.

Shouldn't'a looked back.

The weirdo stopped following at the sight of Ludwig's gaze, broke into another one of those crooked smiles, eyes lit up, and it was with obvious excitement that he called, again, "I'm Lukas! Lukas! I'll come back again and look for you!'

Oh, he shouldn't have looked back.

All it had done was embolden an already too-bold man. He had no doubt thought that Ludwig looking back meant that Ludwig was interested, and that was only going to spur him on all the more.

Well...

The guy stopped following them, which was thankful for him become Francis' face had started getting a little red from anger, and Ludwig could only stumble along at Francis' side and feel a little like he was in outer space.

Couldn't even believe it.

Francis muttered the whole time they walked back, and Ludwig only paid about half of the attention he should have, because his mind was busy contemplating.

Well!

The guy was handsome, he couldn't really deny that.

And, when he thought about it, maybe it wasn't so bad. Hypocritical, absolutely, but he couldn't help but think that it was a little less creepy to be stalked by a looker. Only a little, though.

By God, if he were any worse a person he'd be locked up somewhere.

When they got back into their own city, Francis shoved Ludwig into his apartment, followed him in, and locked the door. Francis stayed there until nightfall, as if worried the psycho had followed him home or something.

Ludwig felt rather dazed.

Somewhere in there, there might have been a little excitement.

Just a little.

And then, suddenly, when Ludwig went in to work the next day, he realized that he had started looking forward to being in the office.

His name was Lukas.

But _then_, suddenly, out of nowhere, Lukas didn't come by.

The first time they had seen each other, and just like that, Lukas vanished.

Ludwig waited.

Tuesday came and went, and the boat didn't show.

Ludwig couldn't say why he felt a little down at the end of his shift.

Wednesday. Boring.

Thursday couldn't come soon enough, and Ludwig waited.

The boat didn't come.

Friday. Not interesting.

The next day, though, he found himself speaking frequently into his speaker, giving passengers tips and warnings he usually assumed were already known.

Francis glanced at him from time to time, and Ludwig knew his look was saying, 'Wow, you're talkative today.'

Didn't know why, because he couldn't think of any good reason other than that maybe someone would hear his voice and respond.

That wasn't pitiful, right?

He didn't have anyone else that really paid him any attention.

Every time he pushed that button and spoke, the jitteriness of adrenaline lit him up.

Instead of an annoyance, he had started looking forward to those certain days.

So when Sunday came, slow and dreary, Ludwig watched the waves outside and tapped his pencil on the desk, feeling gloomy.

Francis was off.

Loneliness creeping up.

The sun lowered, and then, over the static, a croon.

_ "Miss me?"_

His pride wanted to say, 'No way!', but he had already dropped his pencil and banged his head on the desk as he went to pick it up, so it seemed pointless to even bother.

Because he had.

_ "Sorry I missed ya this week. Had to go deal with a blockhead, and anyway, I guess Skadi was gone or something because the sea was really damn bad."_

Well, Ludwig had understood at least half of that.

He felt himself sitting idle, the radio clenched in his hand. Spent all that time talkin', and now suddenly he couldn't seem to find in his voice.

In the end, he managed a gruff, "Don't worry about it. I needed a break from you anyway."

Sure.

Lukas seemed just as convinced.

_ "Oh, no doubt! I can just hear how much you hate me."_

If self-satisfied leers could be broadcast over the radio, Ludwig was pretty sure one woulda popped out then and smacked him on the head.

...damn.

There he went, stifling another smile.

Most people probably wouldn't have been flattered about being stalked. Couldn't really help it, though, and Ludwig didn't have much of a choice but to admit to himself that he was kind of charmed.

Fascinated.

People had walked by him all his life without a second glance.

_ "So," _Lukas said, quite randomly, _"When do I get to see ya again? Your voice is nice and all, but I'd rather look at you if it's all the same."_

Ludwig stared intently at the radar, swallowed, and sighed through his nose.

Glad, for once, that Francis wasn't there.

Then he clicked the button, and answered.

"I'm always here."

An open-ended answer, full of potential that he was too scared to say aloud.

The answer was swift, and knowing.

_ "That's funny. So am I."_

Enthralling.

The weirdo named Lukas was the only person in the world now who really seemed interested in him.


	3. Heaven's Night

**A/N **: :D Thanks, lovelies. I'd kiss ya if I could.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Heaven's Night**

April.

He should have known that his constant fraternizing with Lukas over the radio on the job would get him into trouble.

It had only been a matter of time.

Still, though, when the rarely-seen supervisor stuck his head out of the office door and called, gently, "Ludwig!" Ludwig was pretty certain that he could have fallen over and died. His entire life had been spent being unnoticed and inconspicuous, and he had always liked it that way.

Hadn't ever been singled out like that before.

Everyone looking at him only intensified his anxiety and panic.

Francis glanced up, watching quite intently, but was silent as Ludwig stood up and walked over to the office.

Felt sick.

His heart was hammering so hard that he thought he was gonna faint.

He'd never been in trouble in his life, not once. Hadn't ever broken a single rule.

Not _once_.

The supervisor waved his hand, ushering Ludwig in, and even though he was smiling, Ludwig still felt rather nauseous as he sat down in front of the desk.

A short look, and then small talk.

"So! Ludwig, you're quiet all the time, huh? How have you been liking it here? I don't think I've ever even spoken to you since you started."

A wring of his hands in his lap, and Ludwig tried to smile, shrugging a shoulder.

"It's nice. I'm getting used to it, I guess. Still get a little nervous."

Another smile, and then the supervisor tried to gently get into what he really wanted.

"Yeah, I can tell. You're shy, huh? Everyone says you're a nice guy. Maybe a little too nice."

A sinking of his stomach.

"I, uh, I noticed that someone's been botherin' you a lot lately. Well! Don't know if bothering is the right word. You know what I mean."

Ludwig nodded, and knew he was paling.

"It's none of my business, you know, what you do outside of work, and... Well. It's just that, we deal with such a high volume of ships, and it's so important to keep focused. If someone stops paying attention and a ship hits an outcrop or something, that's a lot of trouble for us. You've been doing a great job so far, don't get me wrong, everyone says so, it's just... I just want to make sure that nothing goes wrong. And, well, you can see that this is a bit of a distraction, can't you?"

Ludwig could only nod, again.

"So... It's not going to be a problem anymore, is it? I trust that you can stay focused and just start ignoring that, if it keeps happening. Am I right?"

Another nod.

"Thank you. That's all, Ludwig. I'll let you get back to work. Keep it up. You've been doing great, you really have."

Musta been white as a sheet, and was well beyond mortified when he stood up and walked back out. Felt like he stumbled to his desk more than walked to it, and Francis was quick to scuttle over, leaning in and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Well?" he asked. "What was it?"

Francis already knew, no doubt, but seemed determined to figure out if Ludwig was in real trouble or not.

Probably just looking for an excuse to knock Lukas' block off.

Ludwig just shook his head, too embarrassed to speak, and Francis nudged him.

"You're not in trouble, though, right?"

Ludwig shook his head again, and lowered his eyes to the map on the desk.

Not really, not this time. He'd gotten off the hook pretty easily, all things considered, and was quite lucky.

A second time, though...

So the next night that Lukas came by, chirping that cheery, _"Miss me?"_, Ludwig had to bring the radio up and say, "Southbound, carry on. Ships behind you."

Stung a little, to be so curt and short, and Lukas was quiet for a minute.

Ludwig felt pretty goddamn terrible about it, if he were honest.

He'd gotten _attached_ to Lukas.

Hated saying it, but there it was.

Lukas was quiet, yeah, but not angry, as it turned out. When he spoke again, his voice was as cool as ever.

_ "Did I get ya in trouble?"_

Astute, as always.

Ludwig, reluctant to answer, looked quickly around the room. Wished he didn't have to feel so paranoid now, but he couldn't really risk chatting with Lukas after he had just been lectured on it.

Didn't have anywhere else to go if he lost this job.

The thought of having to go crawling to Gilbert or Feliciano was terrifying.

Finally, Ludwig just said, quietly, "Carry on."

Lukas seemed to take that as a 'yes'.

Still didn't shut the hell up, though, stubborn as he was.

_"Aw, that's too bad. Well, I can't say that I'm too bothered. Anyway, I can always come to shore anytime and see you, huh?"_

Lukas waited for a response, obviously trying to prod Ludwig into responding.

So _stubborn_.

Ludwig didn't budge, even as Lukas kept trying.

_"I just like talking to you. Sure wish you'd talk back, though! Damn, I miss that voice already. Say, why we don't just go on that date? And you still haven't told me your name."_

Ludwig couldn't say why it hurt, to lower his eyes to the desk and force himself to stay quiet, no matter how hard Lukas tried.

Hated it.

Finally, thankfully, Lukas took the hint, and started drifting off.

As he went, he said_, "Ah, don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you, so don't worry about it."_

Right when the blip was on the cusp, knowing it would be the last transmission, Ludwig looked around, brought the speaker up, and said, as quickly as he could, "Sorry."

Hoped Lukas got it, before they were cut off.

Maybe he hadn't.

After that, Lukas didn't come around for a couple of weeks.

Ludwig regretted it, despite his full effort not to. Couldn't help but feel all the more hurt. Lukas had said he wasn't mad, but still didn't show. Hadn't he said he wasn't mad?

It was for the best, he knew, if Lukas just stopped showing up, but he couldn't seem to stop looking for him.

That voice. Missed it so much.

No one else paid attention to him, not like that.

Francis looked over at him sometimes, when he stared out at the water, feeling rather despondent, and seemed to be almost as regretful. Not at Lukas' absence, certainly; Francis must have been glad for that, but maybe he regretted the sinking of Ludwig's mood, after trying so hard to perk him up all the time. Sometimes, he reached over, clapped Ludwig on the shoulder, and said, as cheerily as he could, 'Hey, why you look so sad, huh? I'm still here, aren't I? I can take you on a date. A better one! So don't even worry about it!'

Ludwig tried, he really did.

Just never worked.

Those weeks felt like years.

Sometimes, when Ludwig went out with Francis, he found himself looking around, hoping to see a flash of that pale hair or a crooked smile.

Nothing.

So, when more days passed and Ludwig had almost given up, when Lukas came back, when that old voice came over the radio out of nowhere one night, Ludwig couldn't help it. He couldn't help it.

_"Miss me?"_

He picked the speaker up, brought it to his mouth, and moaned, quietly, "You're gonna get me fired."

Couldn't _not_ talk to Lukas, after all that time, just couldn't.

Knowing that sneaky son of a bitch, that might have been Lukas' intentions all along. Lukas seemed to be doing a rather brilliant job of reeling him farther in.

Sure was a fisherman, alright.

Lukas just gave a short laugh, and seemed thoroughly unconcerned.

_ "You're one to talk. You already got _me _fired. I was supposed to be back home a month ago, but you had to go and keep me out here. That damn voice of yours oughta be illegal, messing men up like that. I had a good thing going for me. Now I'm just sleepin' on my boat."_

A flash of irritation, and he hissed into the speaker, "Don't you try to blame anything on _me_! I told you to get outta here, didn't I? You don't listen. I tried to get rid of you."

...yeah, for that first week, maybe.

Then his efforts hadn't been exactly convincing.

Lukas seemed just as convinced, and crooned,_ "That's funny. I had a different impression. So. You gonna tell me your name? I told you mine."_

Even though he knew he was on thin ice, even though he knew he was breaking rules, Ludwig couldn't really seem to _help_ it. Lukas had been successful in charming him, and he was subconsciously risking more than he would have liked for it.

Just because Lukas paid attention to him.

So he gave in, finally, and told the crazy son of a bitch his name, because maybe some part of him expected to be fired and then he would never hear from Lukas again.

"It's Ludwig."

He could only imagine that Lukas was smiling in that crooked way when he said, _"I knew it would be a nice name. Honestly, though, I saw you as an Otto."_

Ludwig crinkled his nose, and retorted, "I saw you as more of an Engelbret."

_ "Well," _Lukas said, quite smoothly, _"If ya do get fired, you can just come and sleep on my boat, too. Think I mighta invited ya already, but I'll extend my offer again. I don't fish much, so I promise it doesn't smell. I got room for someone else in the bed. Might be a little cramped, though. Don't think I'll complain too much. Say, did I tell you last time that you got nice eyes?"_

How romantic.

What an audacious jerk.

"How kind of you," Ludwig snipped, "but I think I'll pass. I get seasick."

A lie, but a believable one.

Not an excuse, apparently.

_ "I make a killer tea. Gets rid of that stuff in a minute. What do you say, huh? Don't you get bored in there?"_

Ludwig shifted, irritably, and glanced up at the water.

Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

Hated it in here sometimes. Felt stifled. Trapped. Just wanted to get out there, and Ludwig didn't really know for what. Didn't want to admit that it was Lukas making him so restless.

Didn't have to, really.

Lukas, either far more aware than his dreamy eyes gave away or extremely lucky by nature, seemed to know exactly what effect he was having.

Maybe Ludwig's silence gave him away.

_ "I'm going to come dock in the morning to see you," _Lukas said, in a very pointed voice, without having waited for an answer, and Ludwig looked over to see that Francis was glaring over at him from the next desk.

A hand raised up to his neck, and Francis drew it across repeatedly, clearly trying to say, 'Don't you go anywhere near that psycho!'

Mouthing, over and over again, 'No!'

A valid warning.

But Lukas' constant efforts and endless compliments had done a good job of entrancing him, as they had no doubt been intended, and honestly, the whole thing was almost beyond his control.

The way he was, he could only refuse something for so long. Persistence was his downfall. Sure had been with Feliciano.

So, Ludwig, despite Francis' shaking head, slowly said, "Alright."

Francis narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.

Lukas' voice lit up as much as the moon at his consent, and it was a little beautiful, Ludwig would admit, the sound of it.

_ "Tomorrow, then! I'll be looking for you, so don't stand me up, please. I'm very sensitive."_

Ludwig rolled his eyes, and grumbled, "Sure you are."

With that, Lukas was gone, and Ludwig sat dumbly at the desk, wondering what the hell he was getting himself into.

Francis just sighed, and glowered at his map.

Ludwig found that, as soon as Lukas left, the time until 'tomorrow' was starting to drag.

Worries.

Fear.

Lukas may have said it, but Ludwig was fully aware that _he_ was the sensitive one, despite his outward appearances at aloofness. If it had been the other way around, if Lukas were the one to (god forbid) stand _him_ up, Ludwig would have gone home, buried his head under his pillow and would have never shown his face in the light of day ever again.

Terrifying, somehow, the thought of going down to the dock and Lukas not being there.

Feeling stupid.

The night passed in a slow, lurching daze, as he clenched his blanket and stared at the ceiling and prayed that he wouldn't do anything to humiliate himself.

Oh, god, didn't even know what to do.

Couldn't even sleep.

Trying to think of things to say. Trying to think of how to not make a fool of himself.

Trying to remember what Lukas looked like.

What if he walked right by Lukas without recognizing him and Lukas sailed off in a huff?

He tossed and turned all night, and was aware that he probably looked like hell in the morning. Didn't bother shaving when he got up, and barely pressed his shirt. Left the top button undone in a rare moment of sloppiness.

His head hurt.

Trying to remember every detail about Lukas.

All that effort, and yet Ludwig found that when it came down to it, when he was down on the pier in the early morning, he recognized Lukas immediately.

Ludwig saw that hair first, gleaming in the sun, and had found himself trotting over more than walking.

Petrified, and yet enthralled.

Lukas had docked alright, just as he said he would, but hadn't come down to shore, quite content to stay on the deck of his boat.

The boat itself was rather nondescript, bland and small, but Lukas was the farthest thing from boring, and when he saw Ludwig coming, he came over to the railing and leaned so far over that for a moment Ludwig thought he would topple right down into the bay.

Ludwig smiled, then, at the state of it all.

Of being here.

Of finding himself in this situation.

Lukas seemed as keen, and, rather than coming down, he had folded his arms, rested his head above them, and seemed perfectly content to leer down at Ludwig from above, hair shining away in the pale light of morning. Alert and bright and quite happy. Maybe even a little relieved.

Maybe he hadn't thought Ludwig would really swing by.

"Morning," came the swift, charming croon, as Lukas gawked down at him, and Ludwig tried to appear less awkward than he felt.

Couldn't pull it off, though, and only managed a weird, jerking wave of his hand and a gruff, "Morning."

Oh, damn it.

Blew that one.

With that pathetic greeting out of the way, Ludwig found himself waiting. And waiting. Lukas didn't come down, though, and Ludwig wasn't sure why he was so disappointed. Why he wanted that weirdo anywhere near him in the first place.

For a moment, though, Ludwig almost forgot his anxiety, just seeing Lukas. Handsome, as Ludwig had remembered, without actually appearing as if he were trying to be. Neat clothes blowing in the wind, that quirky smile present on his face.

Ludwig found himself feeling a little dazed, then, at the sight of that man.

An unnerving shaking of his hands, from the adrenaline of nervousness and attraction.

Wondered, though, why an interesting, handsome man like Lukas was even interested in him in the first place. Crazy or not, Lukas probably could have had his pick. Ludwig hadn't ever really been anything special, especially compared to a guy who was wary of moonlight and complimented a complete stranger on his fuckin' voice while trying to steer a boat.

Guy like that.

Lukas glanced around suddenly, eyes lit up nearly gold in the sunlight, and his smooth voice asked, "Where's your friend?"

Ah.

Maybe Lukas hadn't come down just because he didn't want to be strangled and tossed into the sea.

"Asleep, I guess," Ludwig said, hands in his pockets as he squinted up at Lukas through the light.

Lukas smiled, and said, "Ah, good. Don't think he likes me too much. Thought he was gonna knock me out last time. I gotta be careful around you, I guess! That's okay, though. Well worth the effort. Ludwig."

Hearing his name being pronounced in Lukas' silvery tone was a little odd, but not unpleasant.

A tint of red on his face, and he averted his eyes from Lukas' gaze for a second as the words lit up that ever-latent self-consciousness.

The dismal side of him wanted to ask, 'Why?'

Couldn't understand why Lukas had honed in on him like that.

Seemed that Lukas enjoyed making him squirm and fidget, though, and kept on yappin'.

"You look particularly nice this morning," Lukas added, before Ludwig could think of anything to say, and the burn on his face seemed to be growing.

So was Lukas' smarmy smile.

"Shouldn't'a gone through all that trouble for me."

His eyes glued themselves firmly to his shoes, shoulders lifting and lowing as he smiled in nothing less than absolute embarrassment.

Trouble? The first time in his life he hadn't bothered to gloss himself, and Lukas thought he'd made an actual effort to look appealing.

A sudden, eager murmur from Lukas, drifting above the breeze of the water.

"You sure are shy for such a handsome guy. How's that?"

Aw, hell, now his hand was reaching up to scratch at his head, and he knew he was shuffling his feet. Must have been so red by then that he looked sun-burnt, and his anxiety seemed to make Lukas bolder. When he gathered the courage to look back up, Lukas was beaming, leaning as far as he could over the railing, trying very hard to keep eye contact with Ludwig, who gave a valiant effort but couldn't keep it up for long.

Lukas just kept on trying though, ducking his head as far down as he could in constant attempts to meet Ludwig's eyes.

Whenever he was successful, Lukas just smiled.

A sudden, random, "Man, you sure do have pretty eyes, you know?"

Ludwig, desperate for Lukas to stop humiliating him, wanted to say, 'Aren't you gonna come down?' But he didn't have the nerve, and Lukas seemed content to stay up there and eyeball him from above.

When he finally felt stupid, just standing there below, Ludwig lifted his shoulders and said, "I gotta go."

Lukas just leered, and raised his eyebrows.

"Sure about that? If it means I get to look at ya, I can sit out here all day."

"_I_ can't," Ludwig retorted, more gently than he meant to. "I gotta work."

Wished he didn't have to, though. That smile that Lukas gave him was far beyond fascinating. Hadn't ever really seen anything like it. Somehow, Ludwig realized that he would very much have liked to stand there beneath the shadow of that boat all day, just looking up at that insane man.

"Or," Lukas offered, "Like I said, you can always just come aboard. I'm still trying to take you out on a date, by the way. Think I've said that before. Can't remember. You're so pretty ya make me forget stuff."

He had said it. Several times.

Ludwig, embarrassed and writhing in the pathetic throes of self-consciousness, finally managed one final squint at Lukas, and said, "I'm thinking about it."

Sad part was that he was, although the very annoying voice in his head was reminding him that Lukas was probably very much out of his league, and a date would only make that obvious. He'd hate to blow it, and have Lukas wander off in search of a better venture.

Lukas tilted his head, and, as Ludwig turned on his heel to walk off, he called, "Damn, what's a poor guy gotta do to make you stop thinking and say '_yes_'?"

Ludwig turned around, briefly, and replied, with a tremor, "Persistence."

That was the truth, though, and what else could he have said?

'Flowers?'

...flowers mighta been nice, though.

A shout at his back.

"Ludwig!"

He looked, back, again, and Lukas just shook his head, and smiled.

Ludwig prodded, "What?"

"Nothin!" Lukas called, a hand shielding his eyes from the rising sun. "I just like sayin' your name! Wish you weren't so hard to get, though. Ah, hell, I'm gonna keep trying. I'll get ya yet! I don't give up!"

Yeah, he could tell.

Ludwig whirled around so that Lukas wouldn't see the new blush, and tromped off.

His heart hammered for the rest of the day, and Francis watched him, suspiciously, but didn't ask.

Afraid to, maybe.

Lukas came by a lot after that, always docking but never coming down.

Ludwig wondered, a little, if Lukas was just reeling him in all the more, putting himself in sight like that but keeping a distance between them. If he was, then, just like the constant radio chatter, it was kind of working.

Seemed like Lukas knew how to push his buttons.

Ludwig just found himself walking below, and looking up.

Even though Lukas was the one chasing him, he did it so skillfully that he was actually convincing Ludwig that he was the one chasing Lukas.

Seemed that every morning, the first thing he did was race down to the peer to see if that boat was there.

Francis just watched him come and go, but never said a word. Didn't have the heart, maybe, to rain on the parade. Not the way Ludwig had realized that he had come to work smiling.

Lukas came by almost every day, and Ludwig just waited for him to finally come down from the balcony.

A date seemed more appealing every day, even if he'd mess it up.

If he were completely honest, Ludwig would have done anything that that crazy man had asked him to do.

Hadn't smiled in so long.


	4. Black Fairy

**A/N **: I dunno why, but I find that I'm actually quite happy writing fluff. Go figure. It's kinda nice.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Black Fairy**

May.

Lukas was gone.

Hadn't come by in three weeks.

Ludwig didn't know why, and could only sit there by the radio and wait.

Wait.

Had he done something wrong? Had he made Lukas angry, somewhere down the line? Had he just not been interesting enough? Lukas had said he didn't give up, and yet he didn't come by anymore.

Ludwig had tried his best not to think it, not to admit it, not to acknowledge it, but the more days that passed, the more denying it was pointless. He _missed_ Lukas. Missed that voice. Missed those eyes. Missed that strange, dreamy smile.

Lukas had done this before, had vanished like this before, but not for this long, and he had only done that because Ludwig hadn't been speaking to him.

This time was different.

What had he done?

Lukas had seemed so intent, so interested.

Hated saying it, made him feel pathetic, but Ludwig's feelings were hurt.

He missed Lukas, and was suffering for it.

Even Francis couldn't pick him up any more, no matter how much he tried. And Ludwig hated that, too, because Francis was starting to look a bit down. Cheery guy like that; hated seeing him look upset.

Couldn't help it.

Just wondered where Lukas was, and why he had gone.

Ludwig racked his brain all day and all night, trying to figure it out.

What had he done wrong?

Maybe he should have been bolder all those days that Lukas had smiled down at him from above. Maybe he should have taken more initiative. Maybe Lukas had finally realized that Ludwig just really wasn't _worth_ all of the time and effort that he had been putting into it.

Maybe Lukas had seen how plain and boring he was.

Oh—that hurt to think.

Three weeks.

Three long weeks since the boat had last come into his waters.

He found himself sitting there absently at his desk, clocked in and yet very much checked out, watching the moon over the sea and feeling perpetually melancholy. The speech over the radio always seemed garbled.

Didn't feel like working, but didn't have anything else to do.

Lukas was gone.

Finally, one raining day, as he traced a pencil over the map absently and tried to listen to Francis' gentle chatter, the radio started crackling.

He peered up, breath held, and waited.

Always did, no matter how many times he was disappointed.

Silence.

And then a voice.

Familiar.

When _that_ voice finally came over the speaker, Ludwig nearly dropped the pencil straight to the floor, sat up like an arrow in his seat, and gripped the radio for dear life.

_ "Long time, no see! Miss me?"_

Oh, god, had he ever, and he couldn't really describe what he was feeling in that instant. Relief, anger, happiness, frustration, irritation, exhilaration.

Was so angry at Lukas, but so happy to hear him.

Was so upset at him for leaving, but was upset that he had returned.

Didn't know what he was feeling, but he knew damn well what _Francis_ was feeling; Ludwig could see the narrowing of his eyes, the pursing of his lips, the clenching of his jaw, and the look of absolute and unadulterated annoyance upon his face.

Francis sure as hell hadn't ever wanted Lukas to come back, and made it obvious with that look.

In a way, Ludwig understood the sentiment; Lukas came and went so frequently that it was rather frustrating, and sometimes hurtful. He was stable, and liked other people to be stable, too.

And yet...

That excitement just under the surface was what kept him from being truly angry, and so did the overwhelming gloominess that came up out of godawful nowhere.

So blue, suddenly, at hearing Lukas' voice.

Lukas seemed quite content, as always, as if there had never been any gap at all.

_"Hope you missed me. I sure did miss you. Been alright? Didn't look at the moon did you?"_

Eh.

Ludwig wanted to snap, 'Who the hell cares about the moon? Where have you been? I've been waiting for a month!'

Instead, he was too dreary and lethargic to try to argue, and just said, a bit morosely, "Why'd you come back? I thought you'd gone. You were gone."

Lukas didn't seem as bothered as Ludwig felt.

_ "Nah! No way. But, you know, even I have to get out of the water sometimes. I'll start growing fins soon. Think I already feel some damn gills. Back of my neck's been itchin' like crazy."_

He couldn't smile.

A short silence.

Ludwig gathered his thoughts.

"Why'd you leave?" he finally asked, despite himself, and although they weren't anything, so to speak, Ludwig felt that after all of that work, he was at least entitled to an explanation. They weren't 'they', not 'us', not 'we', but Ludwig had felt like they had at least been 'you and me'. The way that Lukas had made him feel important wasn't such an easy thing to let go of.

But Lukas might have actually seemed content, pleased perhaps, that Ludwig wanted to know, and his voice was ever more lofty when he spoke again.

_ "I went home, for a while. Tried to get things right. Fix up a few things here and there. Clean. Get settled. You know, in case someone new swings by my house and wants to stay there for a while."_

If that was a hint or something, then Ludwig wasn't sure if it was really meant for him.

Still felt so unsure about the ground on which he stood with Lukas.

Lukas kept vanishing like mist.

So, Ludwig asked, again, "Why'd you come back?"

He had been gone for so long, and Ludwig had slowly started accepting that maybe it was for good. Lukas kept throwing him off. Kept making him look over his shoulder.

Lukas' answer.

_ "For you."_

Him?

_Why_?

Francis had rested his chin in his palm and was glowering away at the waves, shaking his head to himself.

The silence then wasn't awkward so much as disheartening. Ludwig couldn't seem to shake off his gloominess, no matter what Lukas said.

Well. Almost.

Lukas wasn't done, apparently, and perhaps this new absence had made him even bolder. If that were possible.

_ "So," _Lukas finally said, _"I've been out here a long damn time now. Thought you woulda figured it out by now.__ I was waiting and waiting, but you don't take hints well, I guess. I gotta be forward with you. I'd'a died out here waiting for you to make the first move. Guess you need someone to do it for you. So. I'm gonna take you on a date. No if, ands or buts. Come on a date with me."_

A command. Not a request.

Ludwig would have snapped something nasty if his heart hadn't been hammering so hard.

A little dizzy.

He tried to think of something clever to say, and his voice failed him, as it usually did.

Lukas seemed happy to carry on without him, as usual.

_ "You're off tomorrow, right? Guess I'll come to dock in the morning. Say, ten? We can spend the day together. I'll try to dress nicely." _As an afterthought, he added, _"That was a hint, by the way."_

Ludwig finally spoke, and just snipped, "I got that, thanks."

Francis snorted, but not in humor.

Ludwig didn't actually consent to this idea, but he didn't refuse either, and so Lukas seemed to take that as an all-clear, and was quick to chirp out, _"Can't wait! See you in the morning, then. We'll have a good time, I promise. I'll take you to a show if you want. Get some sleep, though! Don't want ya in a bad mood."_

Ha.

Lukas was right about that; he sure wouldn't want Ludwig in a bad mood, not with all of the crap that he pulled. A dangerous situation, perhaps, and Ludwig couldn't be held responsible for his actions if Lukas got on his nerves too much.

...ah, he was all talk. Always was.

So, he just grunted, "Yeah, sure," and left it at that.

Lukas said, happily,_ "Alright, then! Don't forget, please. Ten!"_

And with that, he was gone, as he so often was, and Ludwig was left alone with a brooding Francis.

He felt jittery. Nervous. Dare he say excited.

Beyond it all, maybe he was happy that Lukas had come back, and that he had apparently come back just for him. Couldn't seem to stay angry at that man, no matter how hard he tried. A curse of his, come to think. Couldn't ever stay angry at anyone, no matter what.

Francis finally looked over at him, face serious and almost tired, and he said, lowly, "I don't like this. I really don't. I wish you wouldn't go."

Ludwig opened his mouth, thought better of it, and then averted his eyes.

He shouldn't go, he knew it, not with the way Lukas was, not with the way he came and went, not with the way he was obviously crazy, and so Ludwig wasn't sure why he felt so drawn.

He knew he shouldn't go, and he knew that he still would.

Francis was moody the rest of the night.

Ludwig was, too, but in nervousness rather than irritation.

Already dreading tomorrow.

When he went home that night, he sat at his tiny kitchen table for a while, staring into nothing, and then he found himself rummaging through his closet and trying to find clothes that would be appropriate.

It had been so long.

He didn't really even know how to date anymore.

Eventually, after standing in front of the mirror for what felt like hours, he finally just threw a nice shirt and a pair of slacks on a chair and called it a day. Didn't have anything nicer than that, but at least he had nice shoes.

Why he shined them, though, he couldn't say.

His stomach was churning by the time he went to bed.

The clock kept ticking.

Couldn't sleep.

As always, Ludwig just tossed and turned and fretted about everything that could have possibly gone wrong.

In the morning, the weather was clear and bright.

Ludwig felt like it was cloudy.

Anxiety.

The circles under his eyes were quite obvious.

It almost took more courage to get dressed that morning than it had to pack his bags and creep out of Feliciano's house. Took a considerable amount of bravery to comb his hair, to shave, to put on cologne, to straighten every wrinkle out of his clothes, to gloss himself into as much perfection as he could muster, until he looked mostly pristine despite the exhaustion.

Nervousness.

When he pulled on his socks, he was pretty sure that he was about to just drop dead. Still made it to the door alive, despite it all, and he found himself putting his shoes on and creeping out of his apartment as if he had actually done something wrong.

Felt ridiculous somehow.

Felt like everyone was staring at him when he walked down the street and towards the pier. His own feelings of insecurity, no doubt, but damn if he didn't feel a little stupid by the time he found Lukas' boat.

From there, it seemed like his stress only amplified.

The boat was empty. No Lukas above.

A pang of anxiety.

What if Lukas wouldn't come out? What if Lukas wanted him to come aboard? What if—

"Good morning!"

He jumped a bit in fright, and whirled around.

Lukas.

This time, when he turned around and saw Lukas very much invading his personal space, he stood still instead of backtracking. Might have been the fact that he froze up like a deer in headlights more than affection in that instant.

Always a bit overwhelmed by the sight of Lukas.

Couldn't move, at least not until Lukas smiled in that wonderfully crooked way and then put out his hand, and said, simply, "Nice to meet you. I'm Lukas."

Um. Huh. Well. Okay.

Ludwig accepted because, really, it was the first time they had appropriately greeted each other.

Felt dumb, though, uttering, "I'm Ludwig."

Weirdo.

Lukas' hand clung to his own long after the handshake should have ended by normal people's standards, but Ludwig just stood there, patiently, and waited for Lukas to finish whatever the hell he was doing.

Ludwig looked him up and down, quickly, and saw that Lukas' version of dressing nicely looked exactly the same as Lukas' version of everyday wear. If fact, the only thing that even looked different about him was that he had shaved and combed his hair, parting it nearly on the side, and had somehow managed to successfully pull off a tie on a non-formal button-down shirt.

Everything about Lukas was weird.

Huh.

Ludwig, feeling far too formal even in what he had thought was just nice casual attire, could only shift his weight and avert his eyes to the ground, and suddenly his shined shoes seemed stupid.

Felt so damn awkward.

It had been seven damn years since he'd been on anything that was even close to a 'date'.

Felt strange.

Self-conscious and agitated, he kept his eyes well on the ground until Lukas was suddenly leaning down, ducking his head and looking up until he forced Ludwig's gaze.

"Say, you look tired. Thought I told ya to sleep, eh?" A sly, almost smug smile. "Couldn't stop thinking about me, could ya? I knew it."

Ludwig might have glanced up at the sky, in the hope that he would see a lightning bolt coming down to strike him dead where he stood.

Didn't happen, and Lukas was suddenly straightening his tie.

"Well! Where do you wanna go?"

Eh.

He had hoped that Lukas would take a little more initiative in things, because he didn't know what the hell do to. This wasn't anything he had ever been good at. Dating had never been his scene.

Finally, he managed to shrug a shoulder, and say, weakly, "I don't know. It doesn't matter, I guess."

Lukas smiled, and straightened back up.

Ludwig realized that maybe he had been a little...

"Is that so? Well! Guess we can always go have a nice candlelight dinner on my boat, huh? It cleans up real well."

...reckless.

Shouldn't'a let Lukas decide after all.

Ludwig felt his eyes narrow a bit, but managed to stifle his grimace.

Or maybe not, because Lukas suddenly added, breezily, "Or we can just go to the beach."

Whew.

Leaping on that salvation, Ludwig said, "That sounds fine."

But not really, because walking on the beach was nice and all, but it wasn't exactly what he had dressed for. His shoes would be ruined, and so would his socks, and then his pants, and oh god, it was gonna take him forever to get rid of all the sand and salt, and _ugh_.

Not the date he had had in mind.

And, hell, maybe Lukas knew that, too.

One more shift.

"Or maybe just a nice restaurant."

A sigh of relief, and Ludwig felt a little twinge of relaxation, but only a twinge.

Lukas saw it, and seemed pleased at himself for putting Ludwig at ease. "Alright! Nice restaurant it is. But we can do that tonight. We have the whole day together. What would you like to do first, Ludwig?"

Knowing now that leaving decisions up to Lukas wasn't exactly the safest prospect, Ludwig finally spoke up and said, hopefully, "Maybe we can just go for a coffee?"

Lukas just smiled, and then nodded his head.

Thank god.

A step forward, and Lukas reached out, put his hand on the back of Ludwig's arm, and started walking along. Ludwig walked with him, because if he didn't then Lukas might have taken the opportunity to put his hand somewhere else.

Terror, under the surface.

What if he fucked up?

Wanted to impress Lukas, so badly, but maybe so badly that he was hindering himself and making himself needlessly fretful.

He wasn't gonna be any fun for Lukas if he couldn't stop his anxiety.

Maybe Lukas could feel how tense his arm was, because he leaned over, and said, "Am I scarin' ya or something? Not embarrassed to be seen with me are you? I thought I dressed alright."

Immediately, Ludwig said, perhaps too loudly, "N-no! No! I'm not... No, I'm not embarrassed. I mean! I am, I guess, but, you know. Not because of you, or anything, I just... I don't know. I mean..."

He trailed off, dumbly, and realized that he hadn't made any damn sense at all.

Lukas just smiled at him, and then gave a scoff.

"You're cute."

Inside, Ludwig died a little.

...felt good to hear words like that, though.

So, when they reached a cafe, Ludwig sat outside in the cool air with Lukas, perched his hands in his lap, and tried to be normal. Tried. Didn't work. Lukas did all of the talking.

So, when they left the cafe and went for a walk along the boulevard, Ludwig kept his hands out of his pockets, and tried to be casual. Tried. Didn't work. Lukas was the one to window-shop and walk normally.

So, when they left the boulevard in the late afternoon and started heading towards Lukas' pick of 'nice restaurants', Ludwig took deep breaths and held his head up, and tried not to choke. Tried.

..._tried_.

But then Lukas got to the door first, and opened it, and because they were side by side and both men, Ludwig didn't know who the hell should walk through first, and he choked. An awkward second of shifting and shuffling, as Ludwig tried to figure out if Lukas was holding it open for him or was walking in first, standing there like a moron. Awkward for him, at least, because Lukas was still smiling when he finally reached out and grabbed Ludwig's shoulder to push him through, perhaps to spare him more fumbling than an actual gentlemanly gesture.

When they were inside, Lukas leaned in and whispered, rather coyly, "If I didn't know better I'd say you've never been on a date before."

A swallow, an inhale, a weak smile, and Ludwig finally uttered back, "It's been a while."

Just a quick raise of Lukas' eyebrows, and a soft, "That's a mystery to me."

Embarrassment.

How did compliments humiliate him more than anything else?

The scenery wasn't helping.

When Lukas had said a 'nice' restaurant, Ludwig hadn't quite been expecting..._this_. It was a nice restaurant, sure, if by 'nice' one actually meant to say 'really fucking expensive'.

Something Feliciano would have chosen, come to think.

Chandeliers. Candles. Flowers. Marble floor. Pretty rugs.

White gloves.

Figured.

He had always hated places like this, but was more than a little desperate to impress Lukas, so he bit his tongue and hoped to god that his wallet had enough money in it. Oh, _please_ let him have enough money. The humiliation would have been absolutely and utterly complete if he weren't even able to afford anything on the menu, and Lukas probably would have been embarrassed, too.

No second date after _that_.

What the hell kind of fishing did Lukas do to have the funds for this place?

Guess he had zoned out a little, because suddenly a waiter was leading them to a table.

Sitting down. His hands were clammy, he was sure of it.

So nervous.

Menus were placed in front of them, and Lukas took his quite eagerly. Ludwig grabbed his, but couldn't really seem to read it much. Lukas was still talking, hadn't really stopped, but Ludwig was fazing most of it into white noise as he desperately searched for the cheapest thing on the menu without being too obvious about it.

"What can I get you gentlemen?"

He jumped a little at the sound of the waiter's voice, and froze up, as usual.

The only dating experience he had was with Feliciano, who was so at home in expensive restaurants that he had always taken charge and ordered everything while Ludwig had sat there in utter silence. That was what he was used to. Didn't know what else to do, so when the waiter asked him, he found himself casting a glance at Lukas.

Not used to this, he really wasn't. Felt so helpless.

Thankfully, mercifully, Lukas took the hint, and took charge.

...kind of.

Actually, Lukas' idea of ordering was to go over every single thing on the menu and ask the waiter his opinion.

Ludwig coulda just leapt out of the window for the awkwardness.

Why _him_?

Lukas was too damn weird to pull off even such a simple task as ordering food. Thank god that the waiter apparently had a sense of humor, smirking away the whole while Lukas blabbered, and Ludwig tried very hard to hide his face and sink into the ground.

It was only Ludwig's face suddenly burying itself in his palm that finally got Lukas to cut to the chase and finish up.

"—and a bottle of wine, too. Please. Thank you."

"What kind of wine?"

Goddammit, don't ask _that_, don't give that psycho another chance to talk, please, no more _questions_—

Lukas must have seen Ludwig squirming in embarrassment, because he thankfully just said, "I trust you to pick me something great."

A high brow from the waiter, and when he nodded his head and walked off, Ludwig could probably guess that the waiter fully intended to give Lukas the most expensive bottle in the entire restaurant as comeuppance for listening to him prattle.

And regardless of how much it was going to hurt his wallet, Ludwig was damn glad to see that bottle when it came, and had absolutely no problem grabbing his glass and drinking it so fast that Lukas actually gave a laugh.

"You know, you're actually supposed to taste that when you drink it."

Ludwig just lifted his chin, gave a 'hm', and waited a bit impatiently for Lukas to refill his glass so that he could drink more without feeling bad about it.

Lukas took the hint again, crooked smile quite amused.

Norwegian bastard. Seemed to be made of money, all of them, so in the end Ludwig didn't feel as awful about drinking most of the bottle. All of the bottle, actually, because Lukas still had his first glass, and soon after he was flagging the waiter down for another.

Meh. Too bad. Ludwig was hardly embarrassed anymore.

Anyway, Lukas seemed a little less intimidating after Ludwig had had a few glasses of wine.

Come to think, the wine seemed to make everything better.

Made him less self-conscious, made Lukas less creepy, made the restaurant more homey, made his hands stop shaking. Didn't make him stop blushing, though, and actually intensified it quite a bit.

Oh, well. When Lukas was around, he never stopped blushing anyway so it was hardly a difference.

And the wine made him more open, too, because when Lukas started chatting to him again, Ludwig actually found himself engaging in conversation.

Wasn't sure if that was a mistake or not, because once he had started speaking, Lukas' dreamy eyes seemed to get sharper and more alert, and so did his stance, and before long he was leaning forward every time Ludwig spoke, as if in some way he was quite astounded that he was actually having a conversation. As if he had had to come down to earth to make sure this was really happening.

The feeling was mutual.

Actually, come to think, Ludwig found that he very much liked it when Lukas leaned over the table.

A lot.

Liked it when Lukas said, in a croon, "I could listen to your accent all day, you know. You're gonna haveta speak more from now on. Not optional."

Ludwig thought he might have smiled.

After that, it seemed like the night ended far too soon, too soon, and suddenly the check was before them and it was time to move along. Beyond anything, Ludwig might have been grateful that Lukas had apparently intended all along to split the bill, because that made him feel less awkward, but probably only because he actually had enough money.

Feliciano had always insisted on paying for everything.

Feliciano.

Lukas shot him a wide, beautiful smile then, out of nowhere, glossy hair lit up in the lights and eyed crinkled, still looking alert and all there, and Ludwig suddenly wondered why he was constantly comparing this date to the ones he had had with Feliciano.

Feliciano was gone, and Lukas was nothing like him.

Time to stop. Time to let it go. Time to move on.

Time to carry on in the world.

Lukas was Lukas, and a date with him was where he was. Didn't need to compare it to anything else. Didn't need anything else.

Just that look on Lukas' face.

Someone had taken _him_ on a date, someone that wasn't Feliciano, and there was something amazing in that.

For the first time, Ludwig might have felt a little proud of himself. A little worth.

Someone had taken an interest in him, boring him, and that was even more amazing.

"So," Lukas suddenly said, as he leaned over the table like a kid yet again, "This isn't a one-time thing, is it? Dates, that is. I mean, I like lookin' at ya from the boat and all, but I sure do like being with ya more."

Funny. Felt like Lukas had said that once already, but a little differently. Talking hadn't been enough, and Lukas had wanted to see. Now seeing wasn't enough, and Lukas wanted to touch.

And, for once, Ludwig understood something that Lukas said.

Talking and staring at each other from opposite sides got old, be from the static of space or the water between the dock and the boat.

So he gathered his nerve, pushed aside his anxiety and self-consciousness, feeling that new drive and desire to get back into life, and said, "I think we can work something out."

Lukas was here for a reason; Ludwig needed to remind himself that Lukas was the one who was asking.

Had to be because he wanted to.

Lukas smiled at his words, and, for once, so did Ludwig.

Sometime after that, right before they were about to stand up and leave, Lukas reached across the table and brushed his hand atop Ludwig's, for just a second.

Happiness.

Sometimes, a radio just didn't cut it.

Lukas made him feel worthwhile.


End file.
